It’s not just because you’re the only person she knows in British Columbia and it’s not because you have any particular ability with medicine or people. It’s because she’s dating you and she could really use some extra care and affection when she feels the most miserable she’s felt in a very long time. Unfortunately, this wasn’t covered when you went looking for online dating tips. It was all about how to find the best websites and what to put in your profile to attract the right women. Perhaps how to impress them on the first date and keep in touch without seeming overbearing. Nothing about what was expected of you when she’s ill and texting you things autocorrect has warped beyond comprehension and she’s too far gone on medicine to lucidly make better sense of. Fortunately, we have some advice.

Why You Really Want to Help

The thing is, she may not be in contact with you at all. Some girls manage to text, email or call when they feel bad and even if she doesn’t say it outright, you can tell well enough that she really wants someone to take care of her. The rest, though? Well, if they’ve been in fairly regular contact and then suddenly drop off the face of the planet, it may be worth driving to her place when she would normally be off work anyway and making sure everything is okay. Wait a couple of days in most cases, but after that showing up to check on her welfare generally rates positive for most women. Especially if they are sick and haven’t been able to go out for necessities in a while.

When it comes down to it, her being forced into a vulnerable state can be the perfect time to really show your stuff. Taking care of someone when they’re sick is a good way to prove you’re in this for them. It shows continued interest even when it’s of no immediate gratification for you and usually displays a level of domesticity she will appreciate. Not to mention that it goes both ways. If you take care of her, she will be more inclined to help you out in the same scenario, or barring that just in general. A show of reciprocation is usually a pretty good indication you did right in the first place. Even shy of that, however, it’s generally just a nice thing to do. Not everyone lives with someone or someone who can take care of them and not only recognizing that, but looking to do something about it makes you a decent human being and the right choice in her eyes.

Don’t be Overbearing

That being said, there’s no reason to play mother hen. Just like the online dating tips you dug through that told you not to overdo the hair or the suit, take our advice on this too. Don’t stay all day unless you are really concerned, and if you are really that concerned, take her to a clinic. If it’s not something that requires frequently keeping an eye on her, give her some space. As much as she appreciates you showing up to help her through this, she doesn’t need the constant reminder that she’s not in the best of shape. For some women, this is a matter of you seeing them when they don’t look their best and is a show of trust, though begrudging, so try not to overstep your bounds. Others may simply insist that they take care of people, not the other way around. Either way, make you aren’t bothering her to the point that she can’t get the sleep she needs or feels pressured to go through you for everything.

Try Not to Play Doctor if You Can Help It

One of the worst things to try and do when someone is sick is give advice when you really have no idea what you’re talking about. Now, if you happen to have studied this at some point or are in fact licensed yourself, then feel free to disregard this section. For the rest of us that have to turn to online dating tips for advice, try to keep the need to look up everything and offer her strange home remedies in check. It’s one thing to double check the dosages of what she’s taking if she’s really out of it. It’s another thing to maintain an iron grip over the medicine and not allow her to manage her own intake. As you can see, there is an elusive median to be found betwixt the two.

Offering to take her to a doctor’s appointment or clinic is a step in the right direction, but make sure she knows that you don’t expect to actually see her through it unless she wants you there. When it comes to caring for the sick, usually it falls to direct family. Thus, if you overstep a bit here, you may be signaling that you think of your relationship as closer than she may be comfortable with. Unless you are really the only person she has, or your quite a bit farther along in your relationship, it’s best to keep in mind the difference between offering a ride and implying that you intend to sit with her through a doctor’s visit. Not only is this a very good way to stop her from going, but it may negatively affect the relationship even once she’s better. So if she asks for you to stay with her, or wants to know your opinion about something a doctor said, that’s one thing. If she hasn’t asked, keep your mouth shut.

Do the Things She Can’t Manage

One of the best tips we can give you for dating online or in person is whenever you can do something for her. Even if it’s just a small gesture, the fact that you did it is what matters and sticks in her head. The same is especially true for when she’s sick. Chances are there are about a million things she would typically be doing that she just hasn’t been able to get to due to either sleeping or generally feeling too bad to move. So rather than hover anxiously at her bedside, or collapse on the couch after she’s kicked you out of her room, consider taking a look around her home instead and see if there’s something you can do for her.

If you really aren’t confident in your domestic skills, call your mother and ask. Might as well score some points there while you’re at it. Most will be more than happy to tell you which chores will be most appreciated, how much dish washer liquid to use, and what all the weird symbols on the laundry mean. Of course, you can always turn to the Internet for a lot of this, but sometimes a person is just easier. Dishes and clothes are staples, although she may have delicate fabrics in which case just getting them off to the side may be the better option. Make sure to check after any pets as well, and once you’re done, asking if there’s anything else should do the trick.