When you’re frequenting popular matchmaking sites looking for that special someone, you’re going to be relying on profiles. Although you have the upper hand for finding someone in Tasmania that’s a real match since you’re using a better system than random casual dating sites, meeting in person is still always different. Chemistry can be predicted, but it can’t be guaranteed.
This is a sad fact of life, but that goes for any type of dating. Just because you meet a woman in a bar or club and you hit it off initially doesn’t mean that when you go on a proper date you’re going to have any type of rapport. You can hope, but there definitely will come a time when you’re very excited about a woman on paper, and then she doesn’t live up to the expectation.
It’s also possible she just seems completely different outside of her online profile and private messages. It happens and there’s nothing you can do about it, but that doesn’t mean you should just turn tail and run. There are lots of times that you might find that woman who’s not the same on paper as in person can be a surprising match for you. Here are a few tactics for knowing how to handle a first date when the woman doesn’t match her profile.
How to Be Tactful When You Realize
When you first meet up with a woman you met off one of the popular matchmaking sites, you’re inevitably going to have a certain picture in your mind of what she’ll be like. The point of matchmaking sites is to match you based on certain parameters that are more specific than your average casual dating site. Therefore, it’s not presumptuous to have certain expectations in mind when you meet women you’ve been conversing with online. These expectations can be formed in a variety of ways, including but not limited to what woman write about herself in her profile, her pictures, any messages you’ve exchanged with her, and even surveys and other site questions she’s filled out.
Every matchmaking site is a little bit different, even though they’re all specific, so you’ll be working with a variety of factors in order to establish who you want to meet and why. Unfortunately, you still get surprises, although that’s just the nature of dating. You can’t create your ideal woman out of stone and have her come to life, but that can also be a good thing. That’s one reason finding a woman who you thought was one type of person, is actually another, can be a blessing in disguise.
That’s why when you first realize upon meeting with a woman for the first time that she’s not what you expected you should remain diplomatic. You might have thought you were meeting up with a sensitive artist type, for example, but then when you showed up for a first date you got a sporty, upbeat woman with a sunny demeanor. That doesn’t mean that you should throw in the towel, though.
How Being Different in Person Can Be Beneficial
Sometimes, being forced out of your comfort zone can be a good thing. Many men tend to stick with a certain type of woman, even if they vow to branch out and try to meet other types of ladies. Types can’t be helped. You’re attracted to whoever you are, and that’s a fact of life.
However, there are certain times when you have a chance to try to get to know someone you didn’t choose. If she challenges your worldview or is a totally different personality type than you’re used to dealing with, you might find it surprising how different you feel after talking to her. You can predict conversations many times when you meet a woman who is your type already because you know what to expect. With a woman completely outside your comfort zone, the entire experience is completely different, and can even be a little intimidating. There are a lot of different kinds of women in Tasmania, so there’s no point in limiting yourself to only the few that meet your criteria of what you’re comfortable with.
Finding Someone You Never Expected
Not only might you meet a woman who challenges you and pushes you out of your comfort zone on popular matchmaking sites, but you might also discover a person you never expected. Unlike just pushing you out of your comfort zone, sometimes people meet that have completely dissimilar interests, but incredible chemistry. This happens more often than you might expect, and the way it occurs is through so-called accidents like these.
When a woman is totally different in person than on paper, you’ve just landed yourself a wildcard. While it’s totally possible that such an arrangement could be a disaster, there’s just as much chance that it could result in an amazing date that leads to a relationship. You just don’t know what you’re going to get. When you meet a woman who’s different than any ladies you’ve ever talked to, it’s more than worth your time to at least give the date a shot. Let her come out of her shell before you start making judgments about your own disappointment or what you really want in a woman. Most people are nervous on a first date, so give her a chance to show her personality. She’s also going to withdraw any further if she’s interested in you still, but you’re giving her the cold shoulder.
There’s always an unknown element when it comes to dating online, even with matchmaking sites, and it’s only fair to give someone a chance when you’ve agreed to meet them. Once you get past the initial nervousness and surprise at finding someone totally different than you thought, you might end up meeting the woman of your dreams.
When to Call It Quits after Giving Her a Chance
Unfortunately, not all of these moments end happily. You might give the woman you’ve met a chance, but as suspected when you first realized she’s not the same on paper as in person, that you’re totally incompatible. While this is disappointing, it’s also no reason to be rude or impolite. You can still potentially make a friend, or at the very least, not feel like you wasted an evening. In fact, you might try bringing up that she seems a lot different online, and ask if you come off the same way. Don’t make it a critical observation, so much as framing it as curiosity.
You can also just end the date early if it’s that bad. Whatever you choose to do, just avoid causing offense, because the word can also get around certain matchmaking sites if you end up being unkind to someone. No woman wants to be treated poorly just because she didn’t live up to a certain set of expectations, just as you wouldn’t enjoy it either.
The best practice here is to politely conclude the evening with a firm, but gentle declaration that it was nice to meet her. This sends a clear message that you’re not interested, while still remaining polite. She’ll take the hint, and it’s very possible that she feels the same way about you. While all of this can be disheartening, it’s not the end of the world. You just have to make the right decision for yourself.