In spite of the endless string of romantic comedies, romance novels, and speeches on the subject, many people still believe that the best way to impress women is to lavish them with expensive things. While we can understand some fall back to this, it really should not be your go-to response for impressing someone. For one thing, that can get out of control very quickly and giving someone the impression that you have more money than you do is a very bad idea likely to ruin any relationship you managed to forge in the first place. More importantly, though is that sometimes it just is not going to work. In fact, it can be a very quick way to turn her off of ever considering you in the first place.

Understand Why She is Turned Off

Unlike dating website reviews that can give you all the information you need on any potential site out there, it can be really difficult to gauge exactly how someone is going to take any given gesture. We aren’t saying that means you should completely give up trying. We do suggest keeping your gestures away from the overly grandiose, however. At least, in the beginning, it’s good to wait until you know them better to understand what they find amusing, arousing, or just plain silly.

The thing is, women who don’t react well to flashy shows of money typically see it as a very vain gesture. Moreover, they think the person making it is not interested in them or understanding who they are. They think anyone starting out with a show of money is trying to generically impress women instead of specifically impressing them.

If we lost you in that explanation, really pay attention to this part. The thing is, relying on advice that talks about what women “like” is implicitly treating all women as the same person regardless of their personal likes, dislikes, background, beliefs or anything else. That is why while some may be flattered by an expensive present, many others think you are more interested in getting a prize for your effort than actually dating an equal.

This is especially true in this day and age when they are told from day one that they do not need to rely on a man’s wealth and status to do well for themselves. Just as media tells us that the guy with the money does not always get the woman, so too have women been absorbing this most of their lives. They have been told that while a wealthy or upwardly mobile man is good, it is not the same as a good man. He probably won’t make them laugh. He is not interested in them just because of who they are.

In short, someone who shows their affection through money is not to be trusted. It comes off as more impersonal than anything else. That opens up two direct ways of approaching this. If you want to stand out, having a little extra cash to throw around is still a good place to start, but it either needs to not factor in what sort of presents you give, or it needs to be given a personal touch. If you can manage that, the amount of time you need to devote to dating website reviews will be added instead to time spent with someone you actually want to be around. The devil is in the details, of course, so let’s consider both approaches to fixing this situation.

Personalize the Gifts

Since the primary issue with using wealth to impress is that it comes off vain and impersonal, the best way to counter this is to personalize the presents as much as possible. Fortunately, this should be pretty easy for someone with the money to spare on elaborate and expensive gifts in the first place. All it requires is paying more attention to her and less attention to how to impress women. So if she likes to go to the theatre, do not settle for the most expensive show in London; instead, find out what shows she really wants to see and get her the best seats you can. Both ways, you have shown you are willing to invest in her, but the latter makes it more about knowing her and what she likes and wanting her to really enjoy the gift than it is just trying to impress her with your ability to get the tickets. The first is still all about you and what you can do. The latter has shifted the same intent to something that focuses on her and what she wants and enjoys.

Another good thing to remember about gift giving, especially when it comes to the more expensive items, is that this is the moment when you can really demonstrate how closely you paid attention to her. Despite what we have already said here, the gift given will always have the quality of showing off, just like dating website reviews will always have a bias of some kind. It is a way of proving that you are worth her while because you know her better than someone else and are willing to go the extra mile.

The key here is making sure you are impressing her and not other people who may witness the event or its results. Do not get her something just because it is popular. Get her something that she wants. Do not get her something flashy because people will ask her about it and you want her to be reminded of you. Get her something well-crafted and subtle and detailed. She will remember you more fondly for the effort behind the gift than the fact that it catches everyone’s eye.

Try to do Something that Does not Depend on Your Money

If she does not respond to personalizing something expensive, the best thing you can do is to give up incorporating money as much as possible. Obviously, not many things are going to be possible completely void of currency, so do to not go out of your way to completely eliminate it from the present altogether.

We do, however, suggest you make the primary drive of your gift something that involves you, your time, and your attention. This is particularly useful in relationships that have been going on for a while, but in which she is growing increasingly irritated and distant. This is a sure sign that she does not think she is as important to you as she thought she was at the beginning of the relationship. That cannot be fixed with money.

In fact, it is usually a sign that you have been trying to make up for something with your gifts already. Just personalizing things more won’t solve anything here. The most you should be considering putting your money into is either some kind of private vacation or at least getting someone to cover your other responsibilities that have been keeping you away from her in the first place. Plan romantic dinners around her, or whisk her off on a romantic retreat where you focus entirely on spending time with her. Heck, log on to her favorite game and spending a few hours doing nothing but playing with her.