There is always that one project. It seemed like an easy thing to offer help with; something simple and right up our alley that would really impress her. Whether it is a leaky faucet or a crashing computer, there are just some expectations of aid that come with dating someone with a specific skillset. Some of the time, however, it just does not matter how much we have read up on something or how much of a hobby it really is to us, whatever the issue is, we just can’t fix it.
Embarrassing as the situation might be, there are ways to come out of it relatively unscathed. Here are some tips we have found will get you through just about any awkward situation that sprang from an offer of help.
The Issue is Bigger than it First Seemed
This is actually something you can really work with even if it’s not exactly true. This is best used, however, when she really doesn’t have much expertise in what needs to be done. If you are working on her computer, for example, and she just is not very technically oriented in general, this is a good call to make. If, on the other hand, it was a matter of fixing a rickety railing and she is probably capable enough to know it really is not as big of an issue as you might make it out to be with this step, it is usually best to try another method. So make sure you are adjusting to her understanding of the situation at hand or you can expect to end up back at a computer looking up how to date online in no time.
Remember, this works best when it is either completely true or only stretched a bit. Trying to lie about how long and involved a project is when you cannot take care of it yourself is just going to backfire later when she finds someone else to help her with it.
If, however, the issue does go beyond what she initially presented, or what it initially looked like, this is a really good way to bow out and keep your dignity in the process. The thing is, it is very easy to turn a situation like this into a simple matter of time rather than skill or competency. Telling her you cannot fix her showerhead because you actually realized you had no idea what you are doing is not generally a good impression to make.
Instead, if you told her that the issue has less to do with changing her showerhead and more to do with the plumbing, and so would take more time to fix it than you initially thought, you come out looking much better. Not only can she still appreciate the fact that you tried at all, but also that you understood the situation well enough to know when you would not be able to do what needed to be done and stepped out before you could make things worse.
Suggest a Professional
This is often a corollary to the above suggestion, but can often work on its own as well. That is because you do not have to rely on the situation itself to provide an out for you. Instead, any number of excuses could be made regarding something else taking up your time that lets you step out of the situation by way of offering an alternative. Now this will often still require some of your time and/or money to enact, so keep that in mind if you decide to take this route. Either knowing someone who actually can fix the problem or being willing to help pay for it is a good way to show you still want to help.
The thing to keep in mind here is that if you had not offered help in the first place, she very well could have already had a professional fix it by the time you bring this up. Having to fall back on how to date online, then, is a direct result of not respecting her time. Especially in the case where it is something like her computer that she may need to get fixed to handle her finances or work. In any case like this, where she put off seeing a professional because you said you would take a look at it, it is a good idea to either know someone who will give her a discount for the service, or be willing to foot some of the bill yourself.
In the case of knowing the best tech in Ontario and being able to call in a favor, at least then she will remember that you got her preferential treatment. That can sometimes be better than being able to fix something on your own, since it proves that she is worth pulling strings for, and gets the problem resolved in the best possible way. Knowing people who are skilled in service jobs is always helpful for yourself anyway, but knowing you have resources to fall back on when trying to impress a lady friend will make you seem more confident and generous overall.
If, either in addition to knowing someone or just separately, you offer to pay for the help instead, you at least come off as generous. Especially in the case where you offered to take a look at something and realized it just was not something you had either the time or skill set needed to fix. Instead of throwing in the towel and looking for more tips on how to date online, you have at least shown that you are more concerned with getting her to a better place than just making the offer in the first place.
Guys who offer to fix things, but only end up extending the time frame and ultimately dropping it on someone else, even with the best of intentions, are not going to come off as attractive to most women. So be careful when you offer to help with something. If you know it is not something you are good at yourself, always start with the monetary help first.
Show her you are more interested in helping her past the problem than in making empty offers because you think you have to. If you do find yourself in a situation where you tried to help and it just isn’t working out, expect to throw some financial assistance her way if for no other reason than making the entire situation take longer and be more complicated than needed.
Know What You Can and Can’t do Before You Offer to Help
It should really go without saying, but offering to help is often so compulsive that we forget to limit it to things we can actually help with. If you do not know how to change the oil in your car, offering to help figure out her check engine light probably is not the best idea. Likewise, if you are really good at figuring out computer issues, do not expect to necessarily be good at wiring up her home entertainment system. Whatever the case, always be sure to offer your help only when you can actually help.