Different people need different things at different points in their life. Some people need to feel secure. Some people need to feel loved. Some people need a better job. Some people might just need a little fun. And our needs can change and develop even on an individual basis. A guy from Windsor might need something entirely different now than he did a year later and someone across the world might need something out of a completely different book.

It doesn’t really matter what your needs are, however, if you aren’t able to identify them. This is always the first step toward figuring out how to get what you want; figuring out what you want. If you’re having a hard time with this, you just need to be honest with yourself. If you want to start building a life and a family, you probably want a relationship with long-term potential. If you want the freedom of not having a relationship but your sexual needs are a little too important to be ignored, you probably want a more casual type of relationship or a friend with benefits. If your biggest goal is to get laid but you can’t deal with the drama of a relationship, you want hookups and nothing else.

Once you know what you want, specifically what kind of relationship you want, you need to know where to look. If you are looking for a long-term committed relationship and the reviews for the Canadian personals website you’re on all say it’s great for hooking up, you’re probably not going to find what you need. If you’re living in Saskatoon and you’re looking for a causal relationship that focuses mostly on the physical, trying to make it work with a girl from Windsor is not the best plan.

What if what you want is simply to get some play? You may be in a relationship and ready to take the next step. You may be trying to make a more casual hang out thing into more physical arena. You may even be just trying to hook up with a girl at the bar. Whatever the situation, if you want to get some action, you need to do something about it. If you know what you want, it’s time to take the next step and go out and get it.

The Don’ts of Seduction

Sometimes, the most effective way to learn how to do something is to start with the big no-nos. If you know what pitfalls to avoid, you’re already halfway to success. From there on out, it’s all about fine-tuning your skills. When it comes to getting laid, one of the biggest things to avoid is begging. This makes you look desperate. And nothing is less attractive than a desperate, needy guy. Picture the last time someone asked you to do something you didn’t want to do and then hounded you about it when you said no. It only made you more determined not to give in, right?

If they had asked, you’d said no, and then they’d given you a reason to change your mind, you might have broken down and agreed to do whatever it was. If a girl asks you to take them shopping, for example, and you say no, then she doesn’t bring it up again but goes to watch football with you at a sports bar even though she hates it, you might just reconsider that shopping trip the next time she asks. If, however, she whines and complains and begs you to go, you are probably going to make a secret handshake pack with yourself to never ever go out shopping with her. So don’t beg. For the sake of your own dignity, don’t beg.

You also shouldn’t bring it up every five minutes or she’s going to think it’s all you’re after. While that may be true, you can get that point across with a little more class. This is going to make it more likely that she’ll keep hanging out with you for the evening and also more likely that she’ll go for it when you make your move later in the evening. You want to avoid hitting on other women in front of her. If anyone tells you that it’s good to make her jealous, they’re just stupid.

Sure, your checking out another girl in front of her might make her jealous, but if she’s worth your attention, she’s also worth the attention of other guys in the bar (or wherever you happen to be). Why would she put up with you being rude when she can get the attention she’d after from any other guy there? That doesn’t mean that you should drool all over her either. It’s a fine line between coming on too strong and not coming on strong enough.

If you’re trying to make a connection online, there are some don’t as well. If you’ve reviewed all the women on a Canadian personals website and found the one (or two, or more) that you’d like to give it a shot with, make sure you follow some simple rules to ensure your success. Send the right introductory message. If you send a one-word message your chances of getting a response are slim to none. If you send a paragraph, same thing, little to no chance of a connection.

You want to send a question or a flirty compliment that it’s too over to top or too creepy. Also, make sure you have a few photos up on your profile. If you have none, she’s not going to bother with you, and if you only have one, especially if it’s a bad one, she’s not going to bother with you either.

Some Helpful Tips

The best way to get a woman into your bed is to build a little thing called trust. Show her that you’re not just another slimeball who’s going to relentlessly hound her for sex. The best way to do this is to listen. If you’re in a bar and she mentions what she’s studying or where she works, be sure to casually mention it later. It will show her that you’re paying attention to more than how hot she looks in that top. If you’re meeting on one of those Canadian personals websites, review her profile before you send her the message and include a question that relates to something she’s mentioned.

Be sure that you listen to her responses too. Listening seems like a pretty silly tip, but it really is a fool-proof way to get her to open up to you. You can also try to be as personable as possible by making jokes or telling endearing stories. Don’t make them up though; she’ll be able to tell. Of course, you could embellish a little bit to make yourself seem a little better than the unedited story might.

The last bit of advice is, of course, to ask. If you want to go home with her, ask her. If you want to make out in the car, ask her. It’s not weak or stupid. A lot of women find it very hot when a man asks her to say yes before he just dives in assuming he’s got the green light. So, do you know what you want? Go out and get it.