One of the more common things for people to really stress about in a relationship is what to get the other person for a present. Whether it is their birthday, a holiday, or another significant event in their life, the perfect present can make or break the moment. Many just give up and fall into the group of self-proclaimed failures at gifting. Rather than risk being that person who never seems to get it right, we would rather be known as just another one of the people who really doesn’t know what to do when it comes to finding presents.
Instead of psyching yourself out, however, put some effort into coming up with a proper gift and you will soon find that finding a good gift is often more than enough and much more memorable than just giving up.
Pay Attention When She Talks about Things You Don’t Care About
This is one of the simplest pieces of advice to give, but also one of the hardest to follow. We get it, too. If we don’t like something it can be impossible to keep up with someone who is talking about it very enthusiastically. The thing is, we doubt you were particularly interested in online dating website reviews either, but you stuck with it to make sure you found the best site and knew what scams to avoid. Why should you put any less effort into finding something for someone you really want to spend your time and energy making happy? There is no good excuse, so don’t bother trying to come up with one.
We just don’t have an end goal in mind when she starts going on and on about things that bore us to tears. Without that, you have no drive to even bother paying attention and instead try to find something else to bother with in the meantime. We are the same way and what we realized was that if we ever wanted to get better at giving gifts, we need to change our mindset from ignoring what we didn’t like into paying attention to what she does like.
It’s difficult, and we aren’t saying that you need to become involved in, say, a debate on the historical districts in Hamilton, but knowing WHY she is interested in them beyond the simple fact that she is, will make finding her a present later far easier than you would otherwise think. That is because people who give good presents do it because they remember the important details. Rather than stopping when they find out someone likes sports, they find out which sport, how long they have been into it, and why. That is the difference between getting someone a new baseball glove and finding them a replica of the shirt their father wore when he made it to the minor leagues and inspired the baseball obsession in the first place.
Just letting someone talk about something recent that happened won’t tell you what you want to know. Do it a few times and you will start to notice a pattern. That pattern is what you need to know. Remember, always dig for the why and you will not only find it easier to participate in the discussions but also learn what you need to know to really find them something nice later.
Know What is Important to Her
If this list is starting to sound like a whole lot of listening and asking questions, you are starting to get the hang of it. The thing is, the more attention you pay to someone else, the better the chance you will notice something that will actually help. While people who are really known for their ability to give the best gifts do this naturally with their skilled insight, the rest of us have to put a little more effort into it.
The thing is, though, if you bother putting even only as much effort into learning about someone as you did finding online dating website reviews to keep yourself from being screwed over in the dating process, you are bound to have success. Instead of looking at gift giving as an all or nothing deal, think of it as a skill you develop over time. The more effort you put into it, the better the gifts you give.
This really shows through when it comes to finding something important to her. If you really want to impress her with a good gift, focus your attention here. Knowing someone’s hobbies is one thing. Knowing the details and the why of it all definitely helps. When it comes to the truly best gifts, however, they always involve the things the recipient holds most dear. These are the ones that really make people burst into tears of happiness, and if you want to ever come close to achieving that, you need to know what is really important to her on a fundamental level.
Is it making sure she is taken care of, or someone else? Does she need some time to herself because she spends so much time taking care of other people? Would she like her work in some area to actually be recognized, appreciated and respected? What is it that really makes her happy and fulfilled? These are the sorts of questions to be answered if you really want to make an impact.
Make Sure to Know What She Dislikes as Well
One of the most common mistakes guys make when trying to find the perfect gift is sticking solely to what their girl likes, and completely forgetting to cover what she does not. The thing is, not only are what she dislikes an excellent source of present ideas by themselves, but they can also keep you from making profound mistakes. Just knowing she likes the color red, for example, does not keep you from making the mistake of buying her a red hat if you do not also know she hates to wear hats.
So do not restrict yourself to finding out what she likes and what is important to her, but also what she does not like, what drives her crazy and what she really never wants to deal with. Being able to avoid significant mistakes simply because you took the extra moment to observe what pisses her off as well as how to calm her down afterward, is the mark of a good gift giver.
More than just being able to avoid major mistakes, however, watching for dislikes, irritations, and frustrations can lead to other gift ideas you would have never thought of. Just a little bit of observation and some internet searches will prove just as effective here as it did for finding online dating website reviews.
If she spends a lot of time on her computer and is constantly jerking the cable of her mouse, for example, you might think a wireless mouse is a good present. If she does a lot of gaming, however, the latency on a wireless mouse might irritate her more than the cable issue. Spending the extra two seconds to ask her what bugs her about the cable can be the difference between getting a wireless mouse she hates and finding a cord bungee that lets her use what she already has more effectively.