If you’ve been using popular matchmaking sites, then you know for a fact what it can end up taking in order to get to that next level. If you’ve been seeing a girl for a while, however, then you’re really got to realize when it’s time to move onto the next step. Talking to her about sex might seem like something of a challenge, but it ultimately doesn’t have to be if you really want it…and if you think the time is right. Give it a shot, and you can really end up using these tips to get what you want out of your relationship, even if you met her on a crappy site like MatchMaker.com.
Figuring Out the Timing
Even if you’re using a crappy site like MatchMaker.com, you should still be able to figure out if the time is right for both you and your match. There are a lot of different ways that you can do that, but honestly, it’s all going to come down to you being upfront with her. If you don’t want to go there just yet, then there are a few signs that you can really look for in the time being.
Whenever you’re using popular matchmaking sites, it’s a pretty common thing to think that most of your relationships that you get deeply involved in will lead to sex. She’s probably thinking the same thing, but you do need to think about how long it’s going to take before that actually ends up happening…assuming that it will ever happen. If you aren’t sure about that, then it’s time to sit back and consider what exactly your relationship has been progressing like in the time you’ve been together.
Are you two close? Does she regularly stay over? How much have you two kissed? These are all questions that you need to ask yourself before you try to initiate sex with her. She’s probably not going to be into the whole sex idea if you two are on the first date and not even kissing yet, so you do need to be able to judge that kind of situation in general. If you can’t do that, then it’s time to go back to the next popular matchmaking site and start over before you end up offending someone.
Check That Relationship Status
Before you even think about having sex with her, it’s time to do a status check on your relationship in general. You need to figure out where you are with your girl, and whether or not you honestly think that sex is something that’s going to happen in the near future. Obviously, we don’t recommend doing this on the first date. That’s definitely not the time, because you can’t even really say that you’re in a relationship with her at this point. It’s just not going to end up being cute if you try to immediately hop into the sack with her.
Instead, you need to figure out what it is that makes your relationship a relationship. Are you two actually going out frequently together? Are you kissing and cuddling? These are all things that are definite lead-ups to the whole sex plan, and if you really want to get into that, then it’s time to really start asking her the important questions about it. If this is your sixth date and you’ve really been into one another this entire time, then it’s probably safe to say that yes, sex is somewhat on the horizon, and you can start going for it.
If you want to end up having sex with her, then you need to be prepared. Remember, this is your match that you’re talking about here, and you really want to make sure that you treat her right. Don’t plan a sexy evening and come up empty handed on the necessities. That’s just not going to be cute, and it’s really going to make her feel like you’re just using her as some kind of a cheap sex toy or something worse. This is why planning is really integral to making this sort of thing work for you.
Being able to come prepared with condoms, lube, and even soft music for all we care, are all going to be able to give her a sense that you actually give a damn about her. Make sure that you bring a few extra sex toys, too. Maybe a vibrator is a good addition. You don’t want to end up pushing too hard on the first night, of course, but you do want to make sure that she enjoys herself. If you can make it about her, then that’s definitely going to make sure that she actually is into the idea.
The Right Mood
The right mood is obviously something that really needs to come with that first sexual encounter that you have with your woman. If you can’t end up feeling the mood, then you’re never going to end up having a successful evening, and that’s a fact. You really need to be able to read her and her body language if you want to proceed, and that’s why it might take you a few dates to get to know her in this way. Whatever you do, don’t try to force a mood that just plain isn’t there at all.
If you end up finding a mood that works for the two of you and you’re both ready, then there’s no reason that you should stop. You can really end up profiting from this, and so can she. This means that you’re both ready to make it happen, and that’s a great thing. This next step of your relationship is definitely something that you should both be into, so make sure that she is, and then you two can end up having one hell of an evening together. Just make sure that the stars are aligned before you end up pushing too hard.
Is She Ready?
You always need to make sure that she’s ready to make this happen before you end up assuming anything. Sure, you might think that the mood is right and that you’re prepared for the evening, but if she vetoes the idea, then that’s it. She has the final say in everything, and that’s something that you should be well-acquainted with by now. Just because she’s saying no doesn’t mean that she isn’t into you, by the way. Some girls want to wait a bit longer before having sex, and there’s nothing wrong with that sort of thing at all.
If she isn’t ready for this sort of thing, then we really do implore that you don’t get upset with her. Shaming her for her ability to say no is a really huge problem, and we highly recommend that you don’t do it. You just need to take your time and understand why she might be hesitating. No matter the reason, don’t be angry with her and realize that sex will come with time.
If it doesn’t, then it’s probably because you ended up pushing her too hard or too fast…and that’s a definite no-no in every single sense of the word.