Long distance is often considered the death knell of any committed relationship. For good reason as well: keeping up with someone in another time zone can be difficult enough by itself, but factoring in the chance for someone else to be there when you can’t be, it quickly becomes obvious why this can be so hard to deal with. If you are considering something like this, trying to focus on how to make it work in the midst of all the naysayers can be the most difficult part. Instead of giving up and looking for the best online dating sites the moment you split, however, think instead about the options to you do have available to make things work.
Reconsider the Situation
The first thing you should always do when faced with a seemingly insurmountable challenge is to reconsider your position. Are you really forced into dealing with this the way you think you are or is it just the only solution you are willing to entertain? Take, for example, the scenario of one of you moving a significant distance away. She got a job offer across the country or in another country. Are you really so stuck to your current location and job that you could not follow? Everyone’s first instinct is to agree. Of course! Why else would you be considering a long distance relationship in the first place?
Well, maybe it has more to do with not thinking through all of the options available to you. Instead of falling into the trap of thinking you only have one way to deal with this, consider instead that you are willing to try something you know does not have a very high rate of success due, presumably, to how much you like this girl to begin with.
It does not matter who is moving, where or why; the problem is more why the other person does not think they can follow. This is a bit easier if she is the one moving because it is easier to convince yourself of changing your way of thinking than it is trying to convince her to move somewhere. Either way, take a long, hard look at the situation and ask yourself what your resources really are.
Do you have relatives that would help you make the move? Friends? Do you have the ability to at least find in-between work in the area she is moving? Enough funds to make it if you cannot? What about items you can sell to make the move? Does your company have anything in the area? You obviously want to stay with her in the first place, so make sure you have really exhausted all of your options before committing to the long distance solution.
Find Ways to Shorten the Distance
If, even after reevaluating your situation you still come to the conclusion that there is no way for you or her to make the move, or that you simply should not, then it becomes time to invest in a bit of distance closing technology. That does not mean you really have to spend a lot of money, necessarily, but making sure you both have a solid internet connection is a good start. Something more robust than you would need for just the best online dating sites If she is going to be in a different time zone, make sure you keep track of her time on your computer, phone, or in another way.
The fact of the matter is that staying in sync with one another’s schedules is one of the more common ways people feel together. That is why when you both live in the same area you feel closer. It has less to do with the physical proximity and more to do with the fact that you will tend to have similar schedules. Whereas living closer together allowed for more wiggle room in seeing each other and suggesting dates at the last minute, long distances relationships that actually work tend to be built on routine.
The very first thing you need to do is find out if there is any way you can at least help her settle into the new area. Even if there is a flight involved, or she has movers already, helping her really set things up, settle in, and assist with simple things like cleaning and running a couple of arranges while she is still getting used to the new area will really help her associate you to the new environment.
The same thing can happen the other way around as well, so if you are moving somewhere and cannot bring her with you, try to at least get her involved in the moving preparations. If you both establish your relationship in the new space together, it becomes less of one of you moving away and more of one of you staying somewhere for a bit.
Stick to the Schedule
After you are in a new area, especially if you end up in different time zones, consider making a schedule so that Taipei and Quebec City can still have some time during the day to spend time together. This can be tricky and will probably require one or both of you to occasionally keep odd hours to stay in touch, but is something we absolutely consider necessary. If one of you has a considerably more flexible schedule than the other, then do not put unnecessary strain on the other person and try to make things work out by arranging one schedule around the other. We have, however, noticed that when one person is continually making all of the adjustments and you share somewhat similar demands on your time, it can cause a lot of strain in the relationship.
Thus, we suggest two different days during the week where one person makes the stay up or get up earlier to see the other at a more comfortable time of the day for them. It can take some adjusting on both ends, but making sure you have a few times a week when you can get on the phone or log into video chat will make a big difference when it comes to keeping close over a distance.
Try to Make Trips Happen
While one or both of you might be tempted to return to the best online dating sites during the other’s absence, seeing her in person even at long intervals can really make all the difference. We live in an ever-shrinking world, so keeping in touch should be increasingly easier, however, we all know that is not necessarily the case. Money is still a very large divider when it comes to spending time with someone who has moved particularly far away. When talking about a shift of countries as well, there are far more laws, rules, and regulations to involve as well.
With this in mind, seriously consider which person should make the visit. Sometimes, it is actually easier for the person who moved away to come back, rather than the other to visit them. Either way, you choose to go about this, make it a priority for both of you to save up for it together.