When you finally spot a woman on a dating site that interests you, it’s really an exciting moment. You might not want to admit it, but looking at her picture probably gives you fluttery butterflies in your stomach. That’s a good sign! It means you’ve already got the chemistry going that you’ll need to land a date with her. Now that you’ve finally found a diamond in the rough, what are you going to do? You can’t just sit and stare at her picture and profile all day long. You’ve got to send her a message and get the ball rolling!

How can you do that, though? If you say the wrong thing or come on too strong, there’s no way she’ll reply to you. Then you’ll have to try and find someone else who can give you the butterflies. What’s the best way to give yourself a chance of hearing back from her?

Even if it’s not your strong suit, there’s one surefire answer: be flirty! Women love a man who knows how to be flirtatious and coy without being too crude. If you can charm her that way, you’ll be writing a positive dating site review about your positive experience in no time. But is that easier said than done? How do you actually write a flirty first message? You can’t just throw in lots of silly jokes and try to act cute. Women are going to see right through that ruse.

If you’re concerned that you don’t have what it takes, don’t worry! This article will give you an overview of the basics for being flirty. Your first message will be great, and so her response will be, too!

Take a Good, Close Look at Her Profile

You’re going nowhere fast if you don’t even know how to begin engaging her. If you really want to make a good first impression, you’re going to have to pay close attention to her profile. Read it from top to bottom to try and squeeze every juicy detail out of it that you can. You want to feel like you already know her before you even up a box to compose a message to her. Why? Because when you’re able to show that you actually read everything she wrote, she’s already going to be into you.

Not many guys on these sites take the time to actually read what women write. They only want to get her to agree to get into bed with them. Since you’re looking for something a little more, you have an advantage. You don’t feel a pressing need to dazzle her into having sex right away. Instead, you can afford to learn a little bit more about her. Once you’ve figured out everything you need to know, it’s time to start writing your message.

Introduce Yourself Casually to Start

First things first: your message is going to have to act as an introduction. You don’t want her to have to run to your profile to read over it after she gets a message from you. That’s a lot of extra work, and if she doesn’t do it right away, she’s never going to. So if you want to succeed, you’re going to have to hook her in early. So begin by introducing yourself and telling her a few things about your life. For example, you could lead in with the fact that the two of you both live in South Australia. Maybe there’s a recent piece of news or something about the weather that you can bring up.

Don’t over commit right from the beginning. Instead, act casual, as though you were just introducing yourself to a friend of a friend. Leave her some openings to ask questions about your life. That way, you can almost guarantee to get a response. When you make her curious to know more about you, you’re doing your job correctly.

Mention What You Liked About Her Profile

Now here’s where you get to start really pouring on the charm. Tell her that you really enjoy reading her profile, and start dropping mentions of things that were in it. Remember, this is just one message. You don’t want to make it as long as a novel, so only pick one or two things. If there are three items of interest that really caught your eye, you can try mentioning those as well.

Just don’t go overboard, or she’ll think that you’re some kind of creepy stalker. No one wants to deal with that when they’re using a dating site. You don’t want to be “that guy” that gets mentioned in reviews of relationship and dating sites. Just play it cool, but make it obvious that you have a real interest in her. She’ll appreciate that.

Imply That You’d Like to Get to Know Her

Now that you’ve broken the ice, it’s time to start actually flirting with her. After you’ve talked about who you are and what things you liked on her profile, start implying that you’d like to get to know her better. Tell her that you’re lonely and you’d really love some company to explore South Australia with you. That kind of tone is almost irresistible to women.

If really want to make sure you get a reply, you can come right out and tell her that you’re interested. There’s nothing wrong with being blunt. It isn’t like that’s the opposite of being flirty. In fact, it can really help your cause to be honest with her. When she knows that you’re interested, she won’t have to guess as to what you’re all about. That’s a boost to your chances if it’s anything at all!

Invite Her to Answer Your Message

Now that you’ve expressed your interest to her, it’s time to try and get her to reply. As you’re closing out your message, drop plenty of hints about how much you’d like it if she wrote back to you. Don’t be shy about this. After all, in your review of dating sites out there, have you ever known shyness to be a tactic that worked anywhere? Of course not! That’s because if you’re shy, you’re not going to get any dates at all. You’ll just be sitting at home crying by yourself.

Instead of doing that, finish out your message by telling her that you hope to hear back. You can even set a deadline. Tell her that you hope to hear back from her within a few days or you’ll assume she isn’t interested. That should light a fire under her!

Don’t Be Afraid to Fire Off a Followup

If you don’t get a reply before your deadline, be sure to send a second message. There’s nothing wrong with trying to push her off the fence and get her to come to you. She might just be wondering if you’re really serious. Let her know that you are. Send a second and even a third message if you think it’ll help.

After that, though, you should probably give up. If she hasn’t answered you by now, then she’s not going to answer you at all. If you’re lucky, though, she will respond! Then you can carry on with setting up your date, just like you planned.