Not everyone is going to have hobbies that match up with what you like. Expecting all hobbies to be something you can both participate in, however, is just as short-sighted. Writing is one of these. It can seem like a great scenario for anyone else who has a hobby that takes up a lot of their time and wants to date someone with similar commitments but is important to keep in mind that it may not be a hobby and she is probably very involved in it either way.
Not only that, but writing does not necessarily happen on a schedule. In fact, most writers, even if they are on a schedule, do not stop if they are really on a roll and are far more willing to let other responsibilities slip away before they will do the same with their writing. That means you cannot depend on them being engrossed in something any more than you can depend on them having time for you right then and there. In short, you need to learn some flexibility first and foremost.
Learn Her Patterns
While not all writers have schedules, many have obvious patterns. The more you are willing to pay attention to her in the beginning, the more you will know about how to time things later. Just like looking for dating site reviews before committing to a site, it may be best to ask her about when she likes to write and how often. Most writers are more than willing to share their commitment even if they do not necessarily want to talk about the writing itself.
So take advantage of the beginning uncertainties in a relationship and just start asking questions. Tell her you noticed she spent a lot of time writing, ask her if there are times you should not plan dates, whether that is certain times of the year, weekly events, daily, or even in response to certain things. Some people write more when they are stressed. Some people suffer dramatic bouts of writer’s block that drives them crazy for months before they can dump everything on the paper in one go. In short, it varies from writer to writer and women are no different. So observe as much as you can, but also ask questions. At least then you come off as attentive.
Be Prepared for Strange Questions
One of the more common comments made about dating authors and writers of all sorts is being prepared to deal with the awkward, sudden and inexplicable questions at any time of the day or night. That is because many writers spend a good deal of their life inside their heads, building worlds and exploring characters to the extent that they will lose track of what is happening around them if something catches their fancy. Expect to deal with this. To be clear, we aren’t saying any writer you date is going to randomly walk into things or anything like that. What we are saying is that their internet search history is probably criminal and you will get strange texts at three in the morning about the legal systems in other countries you may have once given a random factoid about.
As normal as writers can seem on a site you found through dating site reviews, there is a whole lot more going on inside their head that comes out in bursts and awkward moments. The best thing to do in these situations is just to try to answer the question as honestly as possible. If you don’t know, you don’t know: offer to look it up. Just don’t treat it as bizarre. Sometimes you can joke about it, but that is really dependent on the person. Laugh if it really is funny, but always follow up with an offer of help. At least then you can find out if she is really offended by the response without digging yourself too deep of a hole.
Take Care of the Small Things
As we mentioned before, writers consistently have their minds elsewhere. Due to this, dating a writer can often end up a whole lot like dating someone who is constantly sick. That is to say, they may not have the time, energy, or appropriate sleeping schedule to deal with a lot of the day to day aspects of life. Sometimes that even means they will forget to do something as basic as eating.
Some of the women we have known could sit down at a computer on Friday and not get up until late Saturday night and not eat a thing in-between unless we put it on their desk. This has nothing to do with the starving artist idea that has perpetuated through modern day culture. It has everything to do with just not realizing they were hungry because they simply weren’t paying attention to themselves.
You might be surprised how many points can be won by showing up and asking her what she wants for dinner. You don’t have to cook it or go anywhere either. Sometimes just knowing enough when to be there and order in can be enough. We have ordered pizza from a couple cities away, too, which is a pretty good way to make sure she keeps eating, at least, when you aren’t there during one of her writing binges. It really doesn’t have to be any harder than find dating site reviews for Victoria. It is all a matter of knowing her patterns and what certain things mean.
If she has been stressed lately, know whether that means she will be writing that more, or if she is going to need someone to drag her out and reinvigorate her with a fun trip or a short date. Anticipate helping her remember things like paying her bills on time, or show up prepared to do a little bit of cleaning. These things don’t sound like much, but when someone is engrossed in a different world, it really makes a huge impression on them.
Encourage Her Writing
Whether she wants you reading her literature or not is really going to vary from person to person and depend a lot on the topic involved. Don’t push her for details if she does not want to share them, but be open to reading something she shoves in your face. Remember that whether this is a hobby or a job, it is likely to be very important to her, so even if you do not think you have much knowledge about writing in general or what she is writing about, always humor her requests that you read over something and give your honest opinion in return. If she wants it in the first place, it is because she trusts you give her a real answer. Just be careful to give positive feedback along with the negative and be blunt if you really don’t think you can offer her anything constructive.
Whether or not she wants you to read her writing, however, you should always remember to encourage her in it. Know at least whether or not she is working on something and if she is happy with it, and try to mention continuing things in as positive a light as you can manage.