It’s a common experience when surfing online on the lookout for casual dating personals sites that are worth it. Scam sites that promise every user willing women. Despite the fact that there are usually registers more men than women. Along with exaggerated stories that float around, you may get the idea that you can do no wrong in casual dating.
But as soon as you try that out for yourself, you’ll find yourself disappointed. Women aren’t falling over themselves to set up a date with you, it’s more often the exact opposite. You can’t sit back and write a message to any registered female user, telling them to come over tomorrow. Casual dating can be work too.
But it can also be rewarding and simple. It’s all a question of how you approach it. You can go in blind and learn your own hard lessons. You might even quit out of frustration due to your lack of success. Or you can take a look at the following set of three rules of casual dating to ease your way.
It’s a Mutual Agreement
Personals scam sites online try to convince you that women on there are like escorts who don’t need payment. But that’s far from the truth. Of course, you’ll find one or two women who don’t care much for pretense and will cut straight to the chase. More often than not you’ll be trying to advertise yourself as a charismatic and good lover to a female user. You need her agreement to move on to the next step in casual dating.
Even when you’re already on a date with her, that doesn’t mean that you’re guaranteed to have sex in the next few hours. It’s pretty much like a normal date, but without you needing to prove that you’d be a great choice in the long run. In casual dating, you only need to prove that you’re a great choice for the night.
This doesn’t mean that you should boast about your previous dates and conquests. Nor how you can make a woman scream herself hoarse. This will only make her roll her eyes – not in a good way, mind you – and start ignoring your messages. What she’ll appreciate far more than your abilities in bed and any compliments you make her, is how you treat her.
Once you show her you understand and respect the fact that she has a choice to say yes or no to you? Then she’ll start feeling that she can trust you. Trust is important for casual dating. After all, she’s not only trusting you to give her pleasure. She’s also trusting you to treat her well and not to cause her harm.
You Cannot Make Demands
In a relationship, you can ask for something and you’ll receive a positive reaction due to your history. Your partner knows that in turn, at some point they can ask you for something and they’ll get a positive reaction. In casual dating, there is a limited timeframe in which such an exchange of favors needs to happen. If it does at all. This is why few casual dates will agree to any demands you may make, beyond sexual acts, that is. In casual dating, it’s all a bit more egotistical. You want to have your itch scratched and as it happens, so does she. If you want to get technical, you’re using each other for your own benefits. If her benefit isn’t as great or greater than yours, the deal is off.
For example, you can’t expect her to drive across country to visit you in Victoria because you had a good message conversation. Especially without knowing where she lives and that you’d like to meet with her. She’ll weigh her options. But it’s unlikely she’ll conclude you’re investing as much as she is for your mutual benefit to make the trip worth it. So if you want to ask her to do something special and specific? Be sure that you’re doing something that is equal in time, money or anything of similar worth invested. Do what you can to make the deal worth it for her.
Respect (Each Other’s) Privacy
As pointed out before, setting up a casual date with someone takes a bit of a leap of faith on both sides. You’re meeting with an almost complete stranger to have sex. In most cases, you’ll never see each other again after that. You don’t know if she’s telling the truth when she says she works for a bank. Nor does she when you say you’re married and so a hotel would be a better meeting place for the two of you. It’s also none of either of your business.
It could be you aren’t married and don’t want to clean up your apartment. That’s fine. What you should ask about each other is potential sexual diseases (and even then still use protection), kinks and turn-offs. Anything beyond that gets you more involved in each other’s lives than a casual dating arrangement implies.
So even when you’re invited into the privacy of her home, you shouldn’t go further than taking a look around and asking where the toilet is. Assuming that you aren’t distracted by foreplay, anyway. Even when you’re still getting to know each other with messages online, you have no obligation to go into details of your private life. Nor does she. This is how the no strings attached part of casual datings stays the way it is.
So, even if you’re curious, don’t ask too personal questions. Especially if it isn’t relevant to meeting each other or having sex. Should either of you volunteer any private information or reply in more detail to a question, that’s your choice. In turn, both of you have the right to turn down a question about something you’d rather not talk about.
In the end, it all comes down to one thing: Knowing that the woman you’re trying to date is as much as a person as you are. She too tries to avoid getting scammed online on personals sites. She too wants to be treated with respect. It’s sensible, that’s why you want the same. The moment you don’t give her the same as you yourself want, you’ll find yourself without a date.
So it’s also important that these points aren’t to the advantage of women. They count as much for you. In turn, should your potential date ask you to do things that aren’t worth it for you in the long run? Don’t sell yourself short. Although you’ll most likely miss out on the sex, you shouldn’t need to go on a day trip for it. Then you might as well invest your money in an escort instead.